back to the future day

So here it is. October 21, 2015. The day Marty and Doc time traveled to in Back to the Future II.

There have been no reports of a mysterious Delorean appearance today. Which doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Time travelers are slick that way.

Yeah, we’re still using fossil fuels in cars instead of garbage. And bullying still happens for some stupid reason (actually, lots of stupid reasons). 2015 wasn’t so bright we had to wear shades back in the 80s. But I am relieved that we’re not wearing those weird oversized sweaters with geometric shapes anymore.

Oh, and I’ve made a discovery. As you can see from this photo I took of John Mayer in 2010 compared to this pic of Marty McFly in 1985, JM is the new MM.

John Mayer at Madison Square Garden, 02.25.10

Marty McFly

Watch out for anyone in a red puffer vest. You just never know.

help wanted 3

Want relationship advice? Then yay, because a fresh Help Wanted is up!

Help Wanted is my Q&A advice series in which I answer your questions and try to provide answers that are remotely helpful. In this new video, I answer your relationship questions about letting go, moving on, and prioritizing the most important parts of your life.

And yes, I am dorktastic as usual.

You can totally post your questions for future Help Wanted in the video comments, or email them to me at susanecolasanti at gmail.

Shine on, rock stars <3

the power of looking up

Non-coincidences happen all the time. Whether you make it possible to notice them is up to you.

What are non-coincidences? A non-coincidence is a term I coined in Something Like Fate to describe how we are connected in magnificent ways. We are only beginning to understand the forces of energy around us. The Universe works in mysterious ways, but one thing is clear: We are all connected. The more open we are to welcoming in the energy, the more opportunities we have to witness non-coincidences. David Life of Jivamukti Yoga said, “If you believe in coincidence, then you aren’t paying attention.” That quote is included at the beginning of Something Like Fate. Non-coincidences happen when the Universe brings two people, things, or events together in profound ways, both big and small.

Everything is connected...

An example of a small non-coincidence involves Zayn Malik leaving One Direction and my cell phone. How are these two things connected? The day I broke my Guinness World Record lifetime trifecta of never owning a cell phone/TV/microwave by getting my first ever cell phone was March 25, 2015. March 25, 2015 was also the day Zayn left One Direction. See, I knew breaking that Guinness World Record would have disastrous consequences. Just kidding. Sort of. A lot of events happened on that date. There might not be a connection between those two. But I don’t know…part of me feels like this was a non-coincidence reflecting that Zayn and I were both embarking on major changes.

One Direction

There are much larger non-coincidences. Like my Gram dying on my 30th birthday. I had a Knowing she would die on my 30th birthday a long time before she did. Non-coincidence. Then there was the time I took the subway at a time of day I’m never on the subway, a line I rarely take. I was reading while I was waiting for the subway. When the train pulled up, I had a sudden feeling to run ahead to the next car and get on that one instead. So of course an old friend I hadn’t seen in years who doesn’t even live here got on my subway car a few stops later. We would have never seen each other if I hadn’t run ahead to that other car or if I hadn’t looked up from my book. Non-coincidence. Sometimes the Universe does that, pulling people together in ways we don’t even realize to make sure we connect in a way that will help us with the next chapter of our lives. But again, this phenomenon really only happens when at least one of the people involved is open to that positive energy. And that person is looking up.

The more you look up and connect with the world around you, the more you will notice non-coincidences. Like the other day when I ran into a friend on the street. That kind of thing happens all the time in New York. Way more than the probability of those interactions statistically occurring in a city of 8.5 million people. But this wasn’t one of those times. This was a non-coincidence. About half an hour before, I had brought two big bags of donations over to Housing Works, only to be greeted by a locked door and sign in the window saying they were closed unexpectedly. I lugged the bags back home in the heat, bummed that I would have to lug them back another day. I’m one of those people who like to cross things off my to-do list and be done. The day was just challenging me in general and I was feeling scraggly. But as I left my apartment again and headed out for an adventure to hopefully turn things around, I reminded myself that as long as I keep my attitude bright and face the world with smiles and lots of positive energy, the day would get better. Stay strong. Never give up.

Felicity Porter, rooftop

So I was on my way to the Dean and DeLuca from Felicity. I am a hardcore Felicity fangirl. I have lived in New York City for almost 20 years. Yet I’ve never ventured down to the exact Dean & DeLuca where Felicity and Ben worked, even though it’s only like a 20-minute walk from my place. That’s one thing I love about New York. Every day brings the potential to discover something new, even after all this time. My goal was to go there and get back in time for my gym class later that evening. I was waiting for a light to change at 12th Street when, just like that day waiting for the subway I never take at a time I never take it, I had this sudden feeling to turn down the street and head west instead of crossing it to go south. Which is when the non-coincidence happened.

I was about half a block down 12th Street when I heard, “Susane!” I looked up. And there was my gym instructor for the class I was taking that evening. She’s also my friend and I really enjoy talking to her. Fortunately for me, she was looking up and noticed me. I might have walked right past her. While I like looking up at buildings and the sky and stuff, I don’t look up at people I’m passing on the street as much as I probably should. But she was looking up and was also walking down 12th randomly because she was going to walk this whole other way and then switched directions for a reason she couldn’t explain. We stood there and talked for like an hour. The conversation shifted towards a project she’s working on that she needs a translator for. Two good friends of mine own a translation company! I hooked her up with their contact info. That’s a conversation we probably wouldn’t have had at the gym, and it provided her with contacts that could help her in amazing ways. This is the kind of example I’m talking about when I say that looking up opens doors of possibility for you.

You might be wondering how Dean & DeLuca was. Dude, I was bummed. I was expecting to go in and sit at the table where Ben gave Felicity that necklace and have this meta New York City experience. But it wasn’t like that at all. The tables were only brought in for filming the show. That Dean & DeLuca location is actually a grocery store! But the marble countertop at the cashier station was familiar. Same with the placement of the coffee makers. And the view out the window was the same. Of course I documented it for you.

Felicity Dean & DeLuca

Akhmose was another friendly neighbor who looked up and noticed me on the street. He wasn’t even going to walk that way. But it was the second really beautiful day of spring and the trees were calling to him down my street so he went that way. He was just about to take out his phone when something told him not to. Something told him to enjoy the day, be in the Now. I’ve had that same feeling many times before. That’s the Universe telling you to look up. Akhmose looked up and saw me and came up to me like, “Excuse me, but are you an author?” He remembered me from five years ago when we met outside the New York Public Library on 9th Street. He was selling scrolls of encouragements he used to write and decorate. It was one of those New York City moments I love, discovering something new and connecting with someone fabulous, that I documented here on my blog. Akhmose is a motivational artist who went by the name KIMM back then. Now he’s affiliated with The Future Project, encouraging children and teens to live extraordinary lives of passion and purpose.

Maybe one of you reading this post right now will be inspired to connect with The Future Project…which might change your life or the life of someone you know. That’s the magic non-coincidences. That’s the power of looking up. They can have infinite reach.

When you look up, you notice possibilities you otherwise would have missed. You connect with the world around you in a spectacular way. You allow the energy to open doors for you that you didn’t realize even existed. You wake up.

What will you see today?

you are not alone

Thanks to everyone who participated in my Facebook Q&A last week! It was super fun. So fun that I’m planning another one for later this summer with an international giveaway of City Love. Thanks also to No BS Book Reviews for taking it all off in this City Love edition of Novel Nudity. And this Justin’s Book Blog interview in which I was asked only one question: How has your life impacted your writing? I could have rambled forever on that one!

There was one question during the Q&A that I started to answer, but decided to answer more completely here when it was taking up too much time. Catherine S. asked, “What advice do you have for dealing with loneliness?”

I know what it’s like to feel so alone that you can hardy breathe. To feel like no one will ever love you or even understand you. To feel like you will never have a true best friend or find people who are really your people. Feeling alone makes everything in your life an enormous struggle. Things that seem easy for everyone else are almost impossible for you. You feel like you’re living in a foreign country where you can’t speak the language and don’t know the local customs. I wish I could have told myself back then what I know now. But I can tell you, and if you are feeling alone, hopefully it will help.

Here’s the first thing I need you to know: You are not alone. This phrase gets thrown around a lot. Kind of like It gets better and You are loved. These three encouragements would have done pretty much nothing to make me feel better in my teen years. My argument would have shot them down like this: Yes I am totally alone, things getting better later does nothing to help me now, and no one loves me. I felt so trapped in my small world that it was extremely difficult to see the bigger picture.

The thing that helped me survive the most in high school was hope. Hope that I would eventually create a happy life. That life felt like it was a million years away, but I knew it was actually four years away, then three, then two. Senior year was much easier since every experience was the last. The best advice I can offer is to find your hope. What do you hope for that will make your life better? Carry that hope in your heart. Remind yourself of that hope every morning, every night, and as many times during the day as you need to. Believe with everything you are that what you hope for will happen. Hope is a really good reason to keep holding on.

You are the architect of your own destiny. That means whatever you are hoping for is in your hands. Your actions in this present moment are shaping your future life. How will you achieve your most important goals? What can you start doing right now to begin working towards turning your dreams into reality? Identify at least one thing you can do every day that will bring you a step closer to achieving your goals. Then make that action a daily priority. Taking control of the things you can in a situation where so much is out of your control will make you feel more connected to your world, and inspire you to build connections with new people who are on your wavelength.

Books were my best friends in high school. My favorite time of day was after school when I could go home and read on my bed. Books, shows, movies, and of course music saved me. They made me feel less alone. Because even if I was only connecting with characters in books and on TV, that sense of connection and validation helped me feel understood. The work that authors, show writers, directors, and musicians were creating inspired me. They gave me safe places. They gave me a sense of community. Now you can go online and find actual communities of people who love what you do. Find your happy. Let the things that make you happy show you that people are out there who are dealing with the same challenges you are.

Are there already people in your life who want to help you, but you’re not letting them in? I kept my high school friends at a distance. There were so many embarrassing parts of my life I was too busy hiding from my friends to show them the real me. But if I had opened up to them, I would have realized that I was not alone. And I was already loved. And it could have gotten better just by reaching out to the people who were right in front of me.

Volunteer work helped me feel less alone in high school. I was a candy striper and a Girl Scout leader-in-training, both of which gave me a sense of purpose and places to belong. Find your people in the places you love. If you love bookstores, coffeehouses, and parks, your people love them, too. Connect with them. Build new friendships. Do not let fear hold you back. A world of possibility is waiting for you to discover abundant happiness. What are you waiting for?

You are loved.

It gets better.

You are not alone.

top five, nostalgia edition

Happy almost summer, friendly neighbors! The summer solstice is this Sunday, June 21. Time for flip-flops, popsicles, and lots of sunlight. I don’t know about you, but I’m already in summer mode. Here are some warm fuzzy updates for you as we say goodbye to spring and get the summer party started.

1. HarperAudio Presents did a podcast interview with me about City Love, dreaming big, and how your BF could still be a soul mate even if he doesn’t rinse the dishes. You can listen to the City Love podcast on SoundCloud or on iTunes.

2. We did a New Jersey road trip last weekend so I could sign books at the Bridgewater, North Brunswick, Springfield, and Livingston Barnes & Noble stores. For those of you in the vicinity of these stores who would like a signed copy of City Love or my backlist, here you go! You can find all of my books in the Teen Romance section with a cute shelf talker: Realistic Romance from Susane Colasanti Shout-outs to Kara at the Bridgewater Barnes & Noble and Mara at the North Brunswick Barnes & Noble for being the most amazing teen leads ever. They totally put up displays of my books when they heard I was coming. Booksellers and librarians automatically rule, but ones that go the distance to connect readers and authors get gold stars.

3. Speaking of amazing booksellers, I was at Chelsea Market the other day hunting down a Cookie Monster cupcake and was devastated to discover that the bakery had closed. These Cookie Monster cupcakes were my fave. Yes, even more than Sprinkles and Crumbs. Why? Not only were they freaking adorable, but they had that old-school frosting I haven’t been able to find anywhere else for years. Now where will I go for that rush of sweet nostalgia? Moving on (or trying to), I went into Posman Books and found this: Posman Books manifesto This manifesto speaks for itself. Well played, Posman.

4. My refrigerator might be telling me it’s already summer. Summer refrigerator There were two ginormous watermelons in my kitchen when this week began. Aaaand my grocery shopping was done for the week. Because what else do I want to eat in the summer besides summer fruit? Not a whole lot. You know it’s summer when your refrigerator is dominated by watermelon. I also enjoy living vicariously through Bubby’s foraging journal. When it comes to summer fresh produce, this girl can’t get enough.

5. Hardcore stamp collector teen me still fangirls when I see cute new stamps. Back when I collected stamps regularly in high school, I would go to the post office every month and see what new stamps they had. Things have changed a lot since then. It’s not easy being a philatelist in 2015. So when I was at the post office the other day, I was stoked to see these: From Me To You stamps Awww! Not only are these stamps totally adorbs, they come with matching stickers to put on your envelope and letter. I would love to see a resurgence of kids writing actual letters, summer camp style. Stamps like these offer some fun motivation. Yay for letter writing. Yay for stamps. Yay for books made of paper. Yay for popsicles and old-school frosting and watermelon. Yay for each and every little thing that brings a rush of nostalgia. There’s so much more to appreciate when you’re all about the little things.

I can’t wait to see what this summer brings. Wishing you a summer that is your best one ever <3