People are usually surprised that I love Neil LaBute’s movies and plays. He’s a very dark and twisty dude. Meredith Grey would definitely worship him. If she were, like, real. He can be really hardcore. I’ve been hooked since In the Company of Men, a movie in which two guys have a bet over who can make a deaf girl fall in love with him first. I know that sounds horrible – and it is! LaBute is fearless like that.
So when I heard that his latest play, The Break of Noon, was playing at a little theater right down the street and that David Duchovny and Amanda Peet were in it, I could not get tickets fast enough. I was sitting super close to David and kept looking at the tattoo on his ring finger. Which doesn’t mean I wasn’t riveted. Because I was. David basically talks for 90 minutes straight. He must be exhausted after every performance.
After the play, we didn’t just go home. This was my chance to meet David and Amanda! I loved her in Something’s Gotta Give and A Lot Like Love. But she was so fast to sneak out the side door that I didn’t even get to see her. I was really bummed about that. But David totally came out the front door and took the time to say hi to all of his fans. Which was extremely gracious of him, given how exhausting his performance was. Of course I took a picture with David. Only, he wasn’t looking his best in the pic. And I don’t think it’s right to post a photo of a person who would not want that photo to be posted. I reluctantly accepted that I wouldn’t be able to share a pic with you.
I was like, Dude. The play is right down the street. I could always go back for better documentation. Plus, I could tell Amanda how awesome she is (because, you know, she doesn’t already hear that a zillion times a day or anything). So I went over last Saturday and waited outside with the other fans. This time, David was photo ready.
There was a guy waiting for David to sign a bunch of prints. This usually means that they’re going to be sold. But he told me that he’s a huge X-Files fan and he’s met David tons of times and the prints were all for him. I told him that I didn’t want to miss Amanda again. The whole time we were waiting for David, I kept checking the two side doors for her. It’s a good thing I was talking to that guy – he told me when Amanda came out. She was by the side door, looking through her bag. So I went over with my Playbill and my hot pink Sharpie and stood there all wide-eyed and expectant. And then Amanda looked up and she was on the phone and…well, she just left. And I was still standing there all wide-eyed and expectant.
Because I need to cling to the belief that she is a sweet person, I will conclude that she really had to go.
There were other things going on last Saturday as well. Like SantaCon 2010. SantaCon takes place in a bunch of cities worldwide. It’s where hundreds of people dress up as Santa and have a good time. They started the day in Central Park, but by the time I was meeting David again they were here in the Village. Hundreds of Santas running though the Village! It was a trip. David and I even had an awesome conversation about it.
David Duchovny: What’s with all these Santas?
Me: It’s SantaCon!
Yeah. We’re tight like that.
As David was taking pictures with us, a swarm of Santas swooped in. Which is how I was able to document David Duchovny and the Santas.
Now this next part might sound hugely slightly stalkerish, but I assure you it was not. After the crowd broke up, David started walking away. And I…like, kind of followed him. Because, hello, he was going my way! A girl has to get home, right? It was fun to watch people’s reactions as they passed him on the street. I mean, he must be used to it by now, but it’s kind of unreal to be David Duchovny just walking down the street like la la la while all around him people are whipping their heads around and going, “Was that David Duchovny?!?!” I wonder if he’s over it or if he still gets a little thrill.
Now I have to add The X-Files to my queue. People have been telling me I’ll love it for years. If it’s anything like Fringe, I’m ready to roll!