are you freaking KIDDING me?!

I am outraged.

Kevin Spacey was doing research for his new movie at SP’s work yesterday and he didn’t even call me. Apparently, SP believes that if I’d known about Kevin, I would have run down there and made a fool of myself. I’m not saying he’s wrong. I’m just saying, Hello, you know I love Kevin Spacey and he’s at your work all freaking day and you don’t even let me know? That’s just cold, dude.

But the movie sounds hot. It’s about investment bankers in the 24-hour period following the Wall Street financial crisis. For some reason, movies like this fascinate me. Boiler Room was really good and I cannot wait for the Wall Street sequel to come out. There’s a part in the trailer where Michael Douglas gets out of jail and they’re giving him all his stuff back and there’s this big honking mobile phone from 1987. Love it!

Tragically, Kevin is not the only star I’ve missed this week. John Mayer did a secret show at 3:00 a.m. the other night right down the street from my place. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know how annoyed I am right now. I checked my Twitter the next morning and there was his tweet from an hour before the show and I was like, Come on! So unfair. At least I have sweet memories of my front row center seat at his Madison Square Garden concert…and the best pics ever!

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you think that was the end of the drama? Because I’m just getting started.

We all know that I look like Kiefer Sutherland’s gf (from the side), that we’ve met (he’s my neighbor), and that I’ve been to his house (while it was being renovated). So it makes sense that I’ve been hoping to see him around again. A few nights ago, I was meeting some friends for dinner in the nabe. I was the first one there and waited on the corner for 10 minutes. When one of my friends showed up, we had to go several doors down to wait inside because the bar at the restaurant was full and they had this other random bar over there. So we’re catching up and waiting for everyone else to arrive when my friend Mark comes bursting in all, “Kiefer’s here.” Of course Kiefer was there. Of course we were having dinner at the same restaurant. And of course I was standing right next to him for 10 minutes while he was eating outside and I didn’t even notice. Mark got to pet his gf’s sister’s dog and talk to Kiefer and even SP ran into Kiefer when he got out of a cab, and where was I? Exiled to this random bar halfway down the block so I couldn’t even see what was going on. When I don’t even drink.

Did I get to see Kiefer? Yes. Did I get to talk to him? No. But this is not over. I know his coordinates. I’m securing the perimeter. We’ll meet again one day. Maybe he’ll even remember that part in Take Me There where the boys are recreating a scene from 24 on the roof, just my friend Jim and I enjoy doing. Copy that.

But none of this is why I’m outraged.

Here’s why I’m outraged.

They were filming a big movie last night around the corner. My street was taken over by all of the movie trucks, like food service and actor trailers. Kate Hudson was spotted. I didn’t try to find out who else was in the movie because I’m not a fan. (Note: This post probably sounds like I’m some kind of celeb-crazed stalker, but I really only like a few of them. They’ve just all converged this week, I swear!). I didn’t even go out to watch the filming last night. But just now I was like, Let’s see who else is in the movie with Kate so I can mention it on my blog. And guess who else is in the movie?

John Krasinski.

Now, if you know me at all you know that I am a seriously huge Office fan. And that John Krasinski is my #1 husband, and has been ranked as such for years. So while I was sitting here last night like, Ho-hum, I’ll just have blueberries and watch Thirtysomething and ignore the big movie filming, JOHN KRASINSKI WAS LITERALLY OUTSIDE MY DOOR.

Are. You. Freaking. Kidding me?!

I mean, that’s the last straw. Nothing can top that one. Unless a package for David Letterman accidentally gets delivered to me and while I’m at his building trying to return it, Dave stops by because FedEx told him it was here. If anything like that happens, I’ll be sure to let you know.

For now, I have to remember how lucky I am that I even get to be close to any of this. I don’t spend an enormous chunk of my income on rent just for one closet, 400 square feet, and the opportunity to live without a freezer. The energy of my neighborhood inspires me every single day. It helps my writing. It helps me feel alive. And there’s always the chance that one day, John Krasinski will be that guy in line behind me at the coffeehouse.

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10 thoughts on “are you freaking KIDDING me?!

  1. That’s so frustrating!! I would be so upset! But I love how you turn every negative into a positive. It definitely is awesome that you can live where you live and experience that type of energy. And you seem like an awesome person, and for that I believe that one day you will meet both Johns!

  2. JKras
    Would it make you feel better to know that you didn’t miss Krasinski last night? He and his fiancÊe were already back in LA Thursday afternoon.

    =) Helpful Hannah

    • Re: JKras
      Yes, what a huge relief! Although I heard John was filming again tonight in my nabe, so why would he fly all the way back to Cali just for one day? Well, I’m going with it anyway 🙂

  3. question
    Hi – I just learned of you and think your books are awesome-amazing. And now I am a new fan of your blog…but I do have one question. Who is SP? Should I know this from previous entries?
    Anyway – keep up the good work, you. You inspire me!

    • Re: question
      I happened to be in Boston in November for my friend’s wedding/my birthday, and JKras was there for a showing of his indie film. He got the whole audience to sing happy birthday to me. He is AWESOME! Too bad he’s getting married this summer…=(
      Also, I wish I lived where you live. But more than that, I wish I knew the boys that are in your books!

  4. Wow, that’s some funky karma you’ve been having. Dislike. đŸ˜Ļ
    It’s amazing how all this happened so close together. SP’s reaction reminds me of that Friends episode where Joey tries to keep Monica and Rachel from stalking the soap opera actors and actresses. 😉 But still. I think Kevin could have handled one girl.
    The Kiefer situation is especially frustrating because you guys live so close! You don’t drink either? Did I know that? Have we talked about that? I seem to attract female friends that don’t drink. Which is odd, because most people do. We all seem to be the same Myers-Briggs type too. Do you know yours? Most of us are INFJs. Or INFPs.
    John Krasinski is your #1 husband now?! I thought it was Tobey Maguire and John was second or third or something. I can’t believe that of *all* people, he was right there filming a new movie. That’s harsh. That’s so harsh. Is he coming back…? (I do like Kate Hudson, so I think that part’s pretty cool too.)
    It makes me think that you’re *due* for some awesome karma now. You’ve dealt with the bad. Now for the good. It ought to be really worth it after all of that!

    • You rule for saying that awesome karma might be coming my way. I really, really hope the Universe agrees 🙂
      John Krasinski has been my #1 husband for at least two years now, probably more like three. I should really keep detailed lists with dates. But yeah, as soon as I started watching The Office, I was hooked. Tobey was #1 for a long time, but John annihilated him. I think John’s filming more around NYC at locations that are not my street.
      I believe we’ve talked about the not drinking thing (it makes me feel sick) and the personality thing (I’m an introvert who plays an extrovert on TV). It does seem like everyone else drinks and this can be frustrating when people get all in your face like, “What’s wrong with you?” Thankfully, most of the people I hang out with have more IQ points than that 😉

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