Whenever I’m paying for something and I’m a penny or two short, the cashier is always like, “Don’t worry about it.” This started happening a few years ago. At first, I was amazed. I wondered how I could possibly be getting away with that kind of behavior. Don’t cashiers get in trouble for coming up short? How could they disrespect pennies like that, like they’re not even worth anything?
News flash: Pennies are still real money.
Don’t get me wrong. When I’m out of change and something costs $5.01, I’m grateful that I don’t have to get 99 cents back in change. But now other coins are being dissed as well. The other day this deli cashier chose to forget about 12 cents instead of making change from an extra dollar. Twelve whole cents! Excused! Seriously, it’s only a matter of time before pennies are discontinued, then eventually all coins. Then all bills. Down the road, I’m sure we’ll be paying for everything with cards. Or eye scans. Kind of like when they stopped making subway tokens and we all had to get used to MetroCards. They were so strange at first! Now we don’t even think about them. Technological progress is a good thing. I’m really looking forward to washing clothes without using all of that water. And hopefully in a year or so, watching Letterman online in better quality. When Kiefer is on in a dress, I want some sharp picture quality happening.
What I’m really really looking forward to is my fave season, spring, along with the return of awesome fruit. Right now there is only mediocre fruit. When one is subjected to nothing but mediocre fruit all winter, it becomes boring fruit. By March I can’t even look at a banana without snarling. This desperation is what forced me to purchase a jug of expensive blood orange juice. Question: Why is fresh produce expensive while fast food is cheap? It’s so stupid. But I could not help myself. This blood orange juice is a dark red color, which means it’s one big antioxidant party up in here.
But not really. Because as of today, I am in revision mode. It’s just me, sexy iMac, music, and a deadline. It’s the 24 equivalent of going dark. Whatever your goals are for the upcoming weeks, I wish you a successful mission. Oh, and remember to secure the perimeter. Copy that.