Guess who’s getting braces?

That would be me.

I probably should have gotten braces, like, 20 years ago. As a neglected teen, I usually didn’t have even the basic things I needed, much less some expensive braces. My Gram did intervene in her classic superhero ways and managed to set me up with a retainer. But the retainer hurt. It kept scraping my gums. It was anchored around my bottom wisdom teeth, which hurt all the time. And I kept throwing it out with my lunch. So now I need to fix the problem. Oh, and those bottom wisdom teeth? Need to come out.

If it wasn’t for the issue of getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I wouldn’t be so resistant about braces. They’re not the old-school metal kind that Miranda had in Sex and the City where she asked that girl, “Are your braces blue?” and the girl was all, “No, they’re sapphire.” Mine will be the invisible kind that go on the back of your teeth, so no one can even tell you have them. Plus, my dentist says they’ll only be on for less than a year. So it’s time to move forward, despite the horrific expense. Did I mention that I don’t have dental insurance anymore? I know, the fun times just keep coming!

My top wisdom teeth were pulled years ago. It was pretty bad. Mainly because I have a really sensitive system. I would love to be less sensitive, but that’s not happening. My pain threshold is so low it’s subterranean. I can’t drink caffeine without feeling sick. Even cold medicine makes me feel weird. But I have to accept who I am and make the most of my lacking attributes, of which there are many. While sensitivity sucks in the face of teeth yanking, it’s good for writing books. So I’ll focus on writing. And psyching myself up to make that appointment. Which I’ll be making any minute now…