There’s this force that drives me to always be working towards my goals. It keeps me wanting more, always moving ahead, always thinking about the next goal I want to reach before I even reach the one I’m working on. This drive is good and bad. It’s good because it keeps me going, even when I don’t feel like going anywhere. When you’re your own boss, you have to be in charge of your own work schedule. Being an organization freak definitely helps. And loving what I do makes me excited to start working (not every day, but almost every day). Lara Zeises recently discussed this issue on her blog. It seems to be on our collective mind.

The drive is also bad, in a way. Because most of the time I’m so busy moving on to the next goal that I don’t take the time to appreciate the one I’ve just accomplished. I always want more. I never feel like I’m doing enough.

It’s strange, really. Before I signed my contract for When It Happens, I thought just getting that one book published would be enough to make me happy. Everything else after that would be a bonus. But it’s not like that at all. My fourth book will be published next year and I feel like I’m somehow behind. Comparison can be dangerous. So instead of comparing myself to other authors, I try to learn from them. My favorite authors are my role models, not my competition.

Back to the collective mind. I was thinking about this stuff last weekend, kind of feeling sad about things, when I saw this tweet string on John Mayer’s Twitter:

Okay. This week? We’re going on a diet. All of us. But this is a diet of a different kind. We’re going to regulate the habit of unhappiness.
3:52 AM Jun 22nd

We will make the conscious decision to make the most of what we have and pine for nothing. No undefinable need or vague despair. Enough!!!
3:55 AM Jun 22nd

If you don’t like it, FIX IT. If you can’t fix it, PLAN B it. If you like it and want more, RESPECT IT. Clean straight lines of living.
3:59 AM Jun 22nd 

He woke me up. Why was I sitting around feeling all sad about things I want so badly that I don’t have? I mean, we all get like that sometimes, but enough. No matter how bad things are, they could always be worse. And the things that I do have are pretty freaking amazing. Paul Simon said:

“The thought that life could be better
is woven indelibly
into our hearts and our brains.”

It’s one of my favorite lyrics. This drive connects us. It gives us hope. It makes us work towards creating a better life. As you’re moving forward, just remember to take some time to appreciate everything you have and all of the wonderful things you’ve already accomplished. They’re pretty freaking amazing, too.

16 thoughts on “drive

  1. Nicely said. yeah, I’m the same way. My book just came out and I sold another in the same week but my head is like 2 years ahead. Must stop and enjoy the moment…

  2. Nicely said. yeah, I’m the same way. My book just came out and I sold another in the same week but my head is like 2 years ahead. Must stop and enjoy the moment…

  3. I definitely LOLed just now when I read your “you can’t just run around like a wild thing in the middle of the night” sentence :P. But yeah, I have had neighbors – actually below me, we were the 3rd floor apt. which was the last floor and they were 2nd floor – and we could hear them through the floor. Because they were THAT loud. And they liked to play video games, often at like 1 or 2 in the morning. It was college (a few years ago) so I could see them playing video games till maybe 11 or 12 … but we all had classes at 8 or 9am. 😦

  4. Love!
    I totally love this! This is exactly how I feel about my books/bookshelves. I totally resonate with this: “All I have to do is hold a good book I read a long time ago to take me right back. I like trying to remember what was going on in my life when I first read them. I love lingering in their lasting impressions.” Definitely feel the EXACT same way.
    Glad you’re loving your bookshelves even more now!

  5. Haha I only lived in the 80s for a few months, but I love those shirts esp the Bueller and Reading Rainbow ones. I’m currently writing my first novel and I remember reading an interview with an author and I was trying to figure out who it was that talked about how they developed their characters. I have it narrowed down to Sarah Dessen, Megan McCafferty, or you. They said that they sit down and will have pages about each of their characters with sketches, likes and dislikes, favorites from food-tv, and then that way they felt like they actually knew the character even if they didn’t include all these details in their novel. I was just wondering if this is what you do because I think it is a great idea and will be using this in the beginning stages of my book.

  6. HA! I totally put together an agent/editor drink night recently at the dover parlour, by “Bleeker street.” Someone pointed it out and i had to edit the evite.


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