I was answering some interview questions recently about Waiting for You and wanted to share my response to this one:
In When Harry Met Sally, the big question is whether men and women can really be friends with each other. This is also addressed in Waiting for You. What do you think – can boys and girls be friends? Why or why not?
It all depends on whether the girl and boy are attracted to each other. If there’s attraction on both sides, they will always want the friendship to be more than it is. That’s no fun. Eventually, their friendship will become an intimate relationship. If the attraction is one-sided, that’s a painful, lonely road to travel, ultimately resulting in the destruction of the relationship. Unless the person attracted to the other person never tells them. But then the friendship is a lie.
If there’s absolutely no attraction between a girl and a boy, then yes, they can be friends. Except this can also get complicated. Boys usually know right away if they’re physically attracted to a girl and that initial feeling probably won’t change. It doesn’t work this way for girls. A girl can think that a boy is totally unattractive, but then gradually find him cuter over time, as she gets closer to him. Girls’ emotional connections enhance their feelings of attraction.
In the case of a girl and a boy being friends while also each having a boyfriend or girlfriend, this friendship can last. As long as they’re not attracted to each other. Because then their respective relationships can unravel as their boyfriend and girlfriend realize that the friends like each other as more than just friends.
So I guess my conclusion is this. Boys and girls can be friends as long as no physical attraction is involved. It would also help if one or both of them were in an intimate relationship with someone else.
I’d love to know your thoughts about this. What do you think? Can boys and girls ever be just friends?