Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t do winter. I’m just not interested. These are the days when you need to put on a big-ass puffy coat and three scarves just to go around the corner for a Coffee Crisp. That so does not work for me. Not that I even have a big-ass puffy coat. Because I don’t have a closet to put it in.
Okay, I have one closet. I had to pull a Bob Villa and make a bedroom closet for my clothes out of a cut-out space in there, so my apartment only has one official closet. But it’s extremely small and holds everything that would normally take up the space of four closets. So there’s no room for a big winter coat in there. I’m aware that I could move out of Greenwich Village and have more space. But where’s the fun in that? Ever since I moved to NYC in 1996, I’ve had this insane obsession about living in this neighborhood. Real estate brokers told me there’s no way I could afford to live here. They told me to give up. They recommended living in places like Queens and Montana. But I was determined. I was passionate. And I made it happen.
Here’s the thing. When I visit friends who live in houses, they don’t believe that my entire apartment could fit inside their living room, especially since I have a nice one-bedroom for this area. So I thought I’d share a few more fun facts about my abnormal life for your entertainment.
1. I don’t have a freezer. Believe me, you don’t know how much you miss the basics like ice and waffles and popsicles (ooh, and Quorn, which is an essential protein source for vegetarians and darn tasty – but is, alas, a frozen food) until you no longer have access to them. My refrigerator isn’t as pathetic as one of those college dorm deals, but it’s close.
2. Another thing I’m mad at winter about is the lack of fruit available. I have an affinity for fruit and feel extremely fruit starved. It’s this intense craving that just keeps getting more extreme. I can get the basic fruit, of course, like apples and oranges and pears, but in the winter you practically have to take out a small loan to buy any of that stuff around here. However, yesterday I had a minor meltdown and ventured into Whole Foods (which I love and would love even more if I could actually afford to shop there), where I purchased three oranges. Three oranges for $5.53. And they were on sale. Now, these are the especially tasty Cara Cara oranges, so I can deal. But still, is that a normal price for these things, or is it just me?
3. The last time I drove a car was fifteen years ago. I’ve never owned a car, don’t know how to parallel park, and can’t remember which pedal is the break. I have no idea how I got my license.
4. My downstairs neighbor wakes me up at night with his snoring. Which I can hear. Through the floor.
5. The closet situation has already been explained.
I love my neighborhood, so it’s all goodness. I wouldn’t trade what I have for anything. Not even a big-ass puffy coat.