You know how it’s important to try new things in life? Be adventurous and all? I usually agree with that idea. But sometimes, not so much.
Take fine dining, for example. Not everything goes together. Would you put mustard on grapes? No, you would not. Typically at this point, someone raises their hand to inform me that they, in fact, would put mustard on grapes, they do it all the time, they just had that last night, and yadda yadda hoo ha. But we’re not going there. That person is just being annoying.
I’ve had three recent restaurant experiences that have left me reluctant to try exotic combinations of ingredients. Here in downtown Manhattan, exotic combinations come up a lot. Like paprika in lemonade. It was described to me by the waiter as “a refreshing twist,” but tasted more like “here’s what not to do if you want to stay in business.”
My second mistake was ordering cheesecake in a cup. I’m a cheesecake connoisseur, so that sounded cool. Even after it was explained that the cheesecake was French-style and unbaked, something like a custard in consistency. Imagine my horror when it turned out to basically be cream cheese topped with sour cream, all smooshed together in a cup. Gross me out the door.
Then there was the green tea cupcake last weekend at a hot new place. See, I love green tea and my love for cupcakes knows no boundaries, but here’s an example of two things that just don’t go. Which I kind of knew while the waiter was explaining how the green tea gets fused into the cupcake, but I wanted to try it anyway. What a mistake that was. We eyed the green icing suspiciously. I took a small bite. SP took a small bite. We put our forks down. And the taste of dirty grass wouldn’t go away. We whispered over the table about how bad it was. Luckily, we got to trade for green tea ice cream which, in case you don’t know, is fabulous.
So remember, kids. Pecorino romano on pasta = so freaking good. Vinegar on chocolate? Run. Run far, far away.